First, when I refer to parents I am really talking to anyone who has a guardian position, at anytime, over children or teenagers. This can include: parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, babysitters, etc.. If you struggle with your relationship to food, or your body image, it's not your fault. It's common in the society we live in. It's not something to be ashamed about. But this does not mean it is normal. It is certainly not healthy. If you're here I assume it's because you're wondering how to stop the cycle and not pass these struggles on to your children. Fun fact: Research shows that roughly 35-50% of 6 year olds (boys and girls) are aware of their body size and express wishing they were thinner. (1.) I want you to know that it is possible to protect your kids while you still struggle. In short, it comes down to faking it until you make it. But there is more to it than that. Here are 6 quick tips to help you protect your kids from inheriting your body/food struggles... 1. Don't comment on your own body in front of your children What you comment about your body in-front of your children, they will start to believe about themselves. For example: If you constantly talk about your "flabby arms" then your child will start to believe that arms should look and feel a certain way. They will begin to question their own arms. On the contrary, be mindful of compliments you give your body in front of your children. There is a fine line between, "I am proud of my strong legs." and "My stomach looks so flat today!" One sends the message that body's are beautiful instruments and the other sends the message that body's are ornaments. 2. Buy yourself clothes that fit comfortably It is really hard to not make comments about your body, and to feel OK about your body, when you are constantly faced with clothes that are too tight or that you do not feel good in. I would consider it an investment, that benefits you and your kids, for you to buy clothes that fit you comfortably. 3. Don't talk about your diets in front of your children Similar to not talking about your body in front of your kids, talking about your diet (or "lifestyle change") sends your kids a message that they are good or bad based on what they eat, that part of their worth is determined by how they eat, and they are doing something wrong if they do not eat a certain way. 4. Compliment your child one what they can do and how they behave, not how they look Focusing on achievements and inner characteristics of your child, instead of how they look, is a great way to show them that looks are not important to you. A good guideline is for every 1 compliments about their body (I.E. "You're hair looks great!", "You're so handsome!", "You are so cute in that dress."), there should be 10 compliments about other things. 5. Do not comment on other people's body in front of your child Usually when someone feels their body is flawed, they are hyper-aware of other people's body's as well. You might not be able to stop your thoughts, but you can be conscious about not expressing them out loud. When your child hears you commenting about other's they are going to assume you care about how a person looks, including them. You say: "That person is way to big to be wearing those yoga pants.", your child wonders "My pants feel a little tight. Does she think I am too big? Does she think I shouldn't wear yoga pants?" 6. Invest in getting yourself help I believe this is the BEST thing you can do for your child's body image and relationship with food. If you are able to work through, and improve your own beliefs, that will automatically make you a positive influence for your child. This will pricier than buying new clothes. If you have to choose between the two, choose this one. It will be most beneficial to work with a Health At Every Size/ Intuitive eating dietitian or therapist, but if you cannot afford access to them there are plenty of podcasts, books, Instagram accounts to follow, and courses you can take. Here are some of my suggestions: Books: "Intuitive Eating" By Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch "Body Kindness" By Rebecca Scritchfield "Anti-Diet" By Christy Harrison Podcasts: Comfort Food Nourishing Women Podcast Body Kindness The Body Image Podcast Nutrition Redefined *Listening to various podcasts is a great way to find out about different courses that providers are offering. Instagram Accounts (There are hundreds, but here is a starting point) @nicolecruzrd @bodyimagewithbri @beauty_redefined @morganskatzrdn (Me!) @moreloveorg With all of this said, please know that even if you are a perfect example of positive body image it is still possible for your child to struggle in this area, and that would not mean that you did anything wrong. Reducing exposure to diet culture entirely is near impossible. Thank you for being here. I hope you feel inspired. You are amazing! You can do this! 1. Children, Teens, Media, and Body Image: Common Sense Media. https://www.commonsensemedia.org/research/children-teens-media-and-body-image. Published January 21, 2015. Accessed September 2020. I WORK 1:1 WITH CLIENT WHO ARE TRAPPED IN DIET CULTURE AND WANT OUT, want to improve their relationship with food, OR WANT SUPPORT RAISING THEIR CHILDREN TO HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN WORKING TOGETHER SEND ME AN EMAIL AT [email protected]
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